“In the flow” means for me being well connected to those people, animals, places, and things that are part of the rhythm of life. It means cultivating an attitude of compassionate awareness in which I am clear and honest and dependable about my end of growing and maintaining good relationships. It means taking responsible care of myself, so I can relate responsibly and enjoyably to others, without projecting any unhappiness of mine onto them, or unwitting making any of their unhappiness my own. Wonderfully, it is simply a good and realistic way to live life, and when I do well my part in that work, I am in the best position to be of service and good support to those others, which, as a therapist, is what I want to do for you.
Therapy and life coaching are very privileged work because a sense of “in the flow” connection is at the heart of all therapy interactions, and often enough, the goal itself. And for a good therapist, practicing “in the flow” consciousness in a committed way is nothing less than a responsibility he or she should bring to the work being done with clients. It does not mean being perfect or all-knowing by any stretch of the imagination. But, in a phrase, the therapist should be, as much as possible, a kind of “in the flow” presence, practiced in its many dimensions, so that a client can sense and maybe even see directly the fruits of such commitment and practice—kindness, honesty, clarity, a desire to be helpful, responsible knowledge about how (and how not) to try to be helpful, and with a strong understanding of life and its challenges as…an adventure. Life as an adventure, with fewer answers than we wish, but an invitation always to participate fully and wholeheartedly nonetheless, and to “live well those questions” for which we do not yet have answers, as the poet Rilke wisely advises.
My feeling is that you are in the best position to choose an appropriate therapist if you know a little something about how anyone you are considering goes about trying to cultivate that “in the flow” sense of responsible participation in the adventure of life, and I want to be as open and fearless as possible in giving you that kind of glimpse of me. A client in counseling, after all, is in a position of considerable vulnerability; it is not incorrect for the therapist also to share in that risk of vulnerability. In that spirit, what I want to urge you to do is to follow the link below to the flickr.com photo-sharing pages I have created that contain many of my drawings (I’m kokopellikevin).
Drawing, you see, is something I’ve done in earnest since I was a child, and is one of the few activities that have remained a constant practice and source of joy and exhilaration in my life. These drawings of mine of recent years you will find on these pages I don’t consider to be especially talented, but they can serve as a strong suggestion about who I am as a human being engaged in life and how I give expression, in these forms anyway, to my experience of being alive. Simply put, drawing is a primary way I relate to the many sweet and tender and confusing and intriguing dimensions and moments of life that are people-centered, as most of the meaningful ones are, and in sharing them with you, you will know more about me. In fact, you will know a lot about me, because in the process of drawing with intent, a very respectful intimacy between the person drawing and the subject of the drawing is taking place and does sometimes become visible, even palpable, on the paper. That can be the case even in very quick sketching. And so, wanting you to have a sense of who I am, I invite you to explore these very personal pages in which I am practicing one of the strongest and most enjoyable ways I know of how to be “in the flow.”